所谓快乐

相信你只是怕伤害我
不是骗我
很爱过谁会舍得

如果我们曾经爱过，那所有的错误，都可以原谅。一笑泯恩仇，不是江湖侠士才有的豪气。我们也可以，为了曾经的美好，原谅世事的无常。

所以我不相信承诺，并不是因为我不相信你。我相信你承诺的真心，只是，明天会发生什么。。。

anyway, I will pretend that i do believe in promise. no harm done.

我看着自己的手，忽然就想起了他牵起我的手的那一刻，没有心跳的利害的感觉，只是觉得温暖，然后，想把头靠在他的肩膀上，却没有，只是装作不在意的随便看着地铁里随便什么人。
奇怪的是，到现在也不知道我是不是喜欢他，也许这也没什么奇怪的，感觉的事，本来就很玄。喜欢也好，不喜欢也好，他都不是我的幸福。我看他的blog，知道他找到了心爱的人，会想祝福他，又觉得没必要。于我于他都没必要。
偶尔也会悻悻地嫉妒他的幸福，
但是没关系，我也会有我的幸福。

The room is uncomfortably warm. Besides,I am so sleepy I can hardly keep my eyes open.

When we say or quote "Tomorrow is another day.", we believe that tomorrow will be better than today. Maybe we can finally pluck our courage and look at the reality in its face. But what privilege have we gained to believe so? More often than not, tomorrow is just a repetition of today.

      I am upset since I woke up. Or, maybe, since I knew I was going to see my supervisor. I can’t be sure. The presentation is a mess. The supervisor’s criticism is harsh and humiliating. Yet I feel indifferent in my heart. Obviously, under the circumstances, I couldn’t show any resentment. Still, I had an idea that I should have felt humiliated though in fact I felt nothing. Afterwards it struck me I needn’t have said anything. I had no reason to excuse myself; it was up to him to express his opinion, whatever it is. If I don’t care, I don’t have to pretend I care.

       Walking out the gloomy classroom, outside is a blazing hot afternoon. I felt like a piece of pineapple and I get it in the dining hall. I have lunched, as usual, in the semi-basement. Everyone was kind, in some way, yet there is no one like a mother. Like the meal in the dining hall, I can have it but I am not going to enjoy it. A bad comparison.

       I have a nap. Then I was awakened by an odd rustling in my ears. After having had my eyes closed, I had a feeling that I had shut the world out.

       I woke up and had a cup of coffee. Instant coffee. I was feeling very comfortable; the coffee had warmed me up, and through the open door came breaths of cool rainy air.